Mom in her new home..
so now my Mom is living with her sister and her Mom (my grandma) who is helping take care of her. She is also on Hospice getting round the clock care. I would come to visit every two weeks. My job was starting to notice my constant absence. I explained my mother was sick and dying, but soon found a technicality in my work performance and fired me. It was a small blessing in disguise because now without a job I could visit for longer at a time. During my visits we would go to church, see family, and go to doctor visits. My mother was a god fearing woman, the kind you would want to know. she was kind and thoughtful and loved to laugh. Never put her faith on anyone unless they wanted to know. Her tumors were growing. The ones in her stomach were expanding her stomach. It would fill up with fluid. She at times would look 8 months pregnant. we bought her Maternity jeans and tops so she would be comfortable. The fluid at first, would fill up slowly. she would get “drained” monthly. towards the end it was every week to 4-5 days. I went with her to some of her appts.
Mom’s draining procedure became a routine. We would walk into the office and my mom would say “Hi Sharon, good morning”, she was always pleasant, and she knew all her nurses and staff by name. They would take us back to the ultrasound room. She would lay back and be tilted to left or right for gravity. Turn the lights down and then the nurse would start searching her belly for pockets of fluid. When a large pocket was found they would then take a large needle/syringe and pull out the fluid. They would take out as much as they could in the larger areas and then measure it. Her stomach would go from 8 months pregnant to 6, sometimes less. All this for her comfort. The pressure of all this fluid building up in her stomach was incredible uncomfortable and painful.
I did ask her one night while we were lying in her home hospital bed watching ‘law and order’, if I could feel it. For months we made jokes with family, like she was “due” soon and whatever. but the reality was she had a huge tumor that was growing and very fast. so lying there, I started to rub her belly. it was firm but a little squishy. and as I started to feel around, all of sudden my fingers ran across a mass. and it was huge. bigger than my hand. I asked her if it hurt, she said no. so I pushed a little bit. And to my surprise it felt like it was in water. I would push a little and it would “float” back up. I just couldn’t really imagine what she was going through. What is this crazy shit growing in your belly! why can’t they just cut it out?? clearly its gigantic! I say none of these things…we continued to snuggle and watch “Law and Order.”